December 31, 2004
Whispers from 2004...3
~~v~~ On letting go ~~v~~
The thing about life is, the more you get out of it, the more you have to let go.
Let go of hurt, let go of disappointment, let go of certain people in your life. Yet, there is always a time and place for everything. No point hurrying it.
I put down the burden of a past relationship this year. I've been trying to for sometime before this. But, only really put it down and moved on this year. It's a great relief exchanged with some pain. The most important lessons about life must be paid with some hurt and disappointments, right?
That still doesn't mean I do not think of him or mention his name anymore. It only means that I can think of him, talk about him without feeling affected. It means that his name has no hold nor control over my emotional state anymore.
It's a very liberating feeling.
~~v~~ On the bigger picture in life ~~v~~
I went through a very disillusioned and confused and stressful period towards the end of this year.
I felt like a spectator in my own life. From the crossroads where I stood, I could see many I know walking down a path that I would have wanted so much for myself. I could have the chance to walk down that path. Yet, something held me back - a bigger picture that wasn't presented yet, but a sense of involvement in being a part of that picture. I deviated from the path that I always wanted and made a turn. A risk, I took.
Coming to terms with the deviation and the change of plans was difficult. It tore me in a few directions everytime I thought about it. But as in all things, there is no point making a decision when you don't intend to follow it through.
I felt at peace with myself not long after and, I haven't looked back.
~~v~~ On one crazy thing ~~v~~
Like I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, my only resolution for 2004 (if it can be considered one) was to do one crazy thing.
Now, crazy doesn't have to be crazy defined by others. It only needs to be something you didn't think you would do and it's entirely out of your character to do. Erm, hopefully, after doing, realising that you've got more character than you thought (which must be a good thing).
Accomplished. It's not being able to dial Snow by memory. That's so in me to do. I'm pretty good at memorising hp numbers of a lot of friends.
Accomplished. At Fat Frog cafe. Which leads me to... I miss Fat Frog!!!
~~v~~ On the people who made it possible ~~v~~
You know who you are. Good job!
And Thank You.
XXX
It's been a truly eventful year. Maybe so eventful that I don't really know how to recount it. I bid it farewell soon.
The end has always been in the beginning but the beginning is always in the end.
Happy 2005.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 08:08
December 30, 2004
I don't have to like everything that he likes for him to love me.
Got your letter (or is it an extract of a journal?), sweetie! And your very cute and super creative card, of cos! Once again, you made my day! Thank you for the thought!
'Treat yourself right otherwise no one else would.' I so agree with what you wrote in the letter. You've managed to motivate me again! The way you do it so unintentionally. =) But hor... your short formsssss and abbreviations are truly an eye-opener to read. hehe
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:43
December 29, 2004
Whispers from 2004...2
I watched as hell became a place on earth and my heart sank deeper and deeper for the 70000 dead, many, many more still lost and the mass burial sites. I have this strong want to curse someone, whichever one... yet, there is no one to blame. Except the Thai Met Station for delaying the release of the forecasted Tsunami that claimed the lives of so many 3 days ago.
Actually, I didn't even curse. I just shook my head while my Mum went 'jek ar!' What words can begin to describe such a catastrophe? Even less words can begin to describe how one feels towards such brutality, not of Nature but of people who are so selfish, so short-sighted, so downright moronic.
Every end of the year, I observed and recall, we are reminded of how vulnerable human lives are, how we are really powerless in the face of Nature's wrath. We keep wanting to change Her so as to gain more control over Her and ultimately, convenience ourselves. We forgot She doesn't have to change at all to assert her control over each and everyone of us.
I try to think it as Nature's way of population control. Still, it's not convincing.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:06
December 26, 2004
I heard you.
Is it because I'm feeling very relaxed after these 3 weeks of holiday or is it because I'm more 'tamed' at night? Maybe it's because I know I've been hasty in making that decision or that I know my hidden agenda.
There are not many people I really listen to when they disapprove/disagree/question my decision. But, well done! You've got me listening.
xxx
I love working.
My MSN nic for today. I don't miss working. But I am beginning to miss contact with the kids. And all those encouraging smiles, nods of the head and raised eyebrows exchanged between colleagues.
I've had a long and good holiday. Just enough for me to catch up with lots of friends, and not catch up with even more. Just enough for me to live in denial of my bank balance updates. Just enough to rest well, fall sick, and rest well again.
I resume work tomorrow, resume school 3rd Jan 05. Expect less blog updates and a more cranky me.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:26
December 25, 2004
I expected more from Singtel line.
It was me who called you, Kyn. 15 mins into X'mas day. You didn't bloody pick up the phone. I believe you were already wasted on free flow of alcohol at your socialite private party at one of the most happening places in HK. Shit you. Ok. Indulge. Hope it was splendid. Did you get a threesome again?
xxx
A gift of anticipation
I was at Holland Village this X'mas eve. Fosters cafe, to be exact. Great place to be, cosy, happening, lots of singing enthusiasts, one guitar, free poppers, party hats and some Ferrero Rocher. Yummy supper at Crystal Jade (blessed outlet that opens till 4am on eve of public hols), a companion who made me feel like I'm in HK with his fluent cantonese.
X'mas eve '04 has been wonderful. More wonderful than lovely Orchard Road. Wonderful to be in your company.
xxx
LP stands for Lesson Plans lah!!!
Ya, and SOW stands for Scheme of Work. Fellow teachers should be familar with these terms. Fellow teachers should be feeling the same way as I do now. Particularly those who become citizens of procrasti-nation as soon as school holidays begin.
My X'mas resolution is to complete my LPs for first two weeks. It's almost 6pm now and I haven't started. haha... Officially, I have 6 more hours before you can tsktsk at me.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:17
December 24, 2004
The prologue
I told Joycey that by reflecting and writing down, it gives me a good closure on a year. It sorta tells me that I wasn't just flowing in this stream of life meaninglessly. It helps to justify my existence, in a way. My existence as a thinking, feeling and effective person. The existence that I've been blessed with, but that I know will someday, be not mine to order. Before that happens,
Whispers from 2004...1
~~v~~ On friendship ~~v~~
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C.S. Lewis
Every year, there is no escape from this theme. Thank Whoever for that.
You know one of those emails that you and I often receive that repeats the same things about friends and love? At least, one of them is very true. That we may not remember every friend that we've had but we will always remember how they made us feel.
Mel refused to say goodbye to me during our last mrt trip together after work. She told me she was very sure we will meet soon cos I'm not a colleague to her, but a friend. Of course I remember that. It's one of the most touching things I heard from a friend.
Joycey told me over msn that it's ok not to be strong at a time when I still didn't see the joke that life has pulled on me. It means more to me than she intended.
Annie went to Snow's b'day BBQ, with no purpose to make me feel inspired and motivated by her active and positive lifestyle. Yet I felt that way. Then on, I felt more connected to her than before.
Special mention of Snow here. Last new year's eve, when we were definitely less 'chummy' than we have been this year, we sat facing the green field of Marina Bay, with Jeri, waiting for Annie, nodding in agreement that we should all do something crazy every year. I think I passed the test when I realised I could dial his number without referring to my phonebook.
~~v~~ On friendship ~~v~~
I think people who say they don't know how to make friends are so not justified. It's so easy to make friends. But, how to keep friends? Even harder, how to grow friends?
Maintaining a friendship requires effort, much more so to grow a friendship. This year, I learnt from some friends, that it's so easy to forget the maintenance on keeping friends when you are in a romantic relationship. They say that it's hard to make and keep friends as you grow older. I say that it's about time management.
The more advanced the technology, the less time we can make for our friends. What crap is that?
I also learnt that the relief one gets from forgiving a friend is worth the disillusioning wait. We don't expect things to be the same as before, but we can build a new friendship when hurt and pain is turned into forgiveness and acceptance.
Have a place for your friends in your mind and heart. Don't wait for Christmas or their birthdays. And don't wait till you need them to label your xbf as a jerk.
As for me, Whoever knows I'm always trying. Erm, at least for that top 10%. hehe
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:36
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FVB KYN DARLING!
May you have enough regrets to cherish the present better, enough courage to learn from the past (24) years, enough joy within you to spread around, enough vocab to be less speechless with me, enough F-ups for you to amaze at life, enough idiots around you to bitch about, and mostly, enough time and money to fly back before CNY!
With love, always, from me. And merry x'mas, of cos!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:11
December 23, 2004
North pole beckons...
Today is the eve of Christmas eve. Today, I feel that the captain of my immune system has employed the help of the ghosts from the city of the dead and is making a comeback against the cold bug that has been invading the system. Lots of water, more sleep and lots of fruits certainly helped.
Today is the eve of Christmas eve. I guess, that will be as good as any other time to start collecting the jigsaw pieces of this year and see which part of the bigger picture have they contributed to.
Hence, as the bells slung around the reindeer's neck go 'jingle bell', whispers from 2004 can be heard from a distance away...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 10:58
December 20, 2004
Oh, yeah? Like I'm any good?
I'm having a slight fever now. I am getting the cold bug. Starting from yesterday. Shit. But my daily taking of Vit C must have helped tremendously too cos I still feel well enough to go about my day. Other times, I would have just laid on the bed, dead to the world.
Guess what I'm doing now, instead? I'm talking to Annie and Ray on MSN. The former, talking about erm... courting a guy. Ya, it's essentially that, although we skirted the issue in rather subtle ways. The latter, raving about RoTK extended version! Man, I could never get enough of that. I'm only like a quarter thru the appendices. So impressive and so touched!
But, I do have to go now to take my Mom to the doc for her check up.
So, if I'm feeling any good later, then.. laterz!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:02
December 18, 2004
Below and beyond the market
I was made to realise that I'm a 'spoilmarket'. I charge my tuition rates (going by per hour these days) below the market rate. I must say Juan sounded like she was in a slight state of shock when I told her my kind of rate. AND I was in a state of shock when I heard Ray's rate.
I know of a lot of friends who are making good money just by giving tuition alone. But, I didn't know the cost of having private tuition can be quite the exorbitant now. Obviously, I haven't been a true beneficiary of such a lucrative market. Why?
Well, to begin, I see giving tuition as a means to supplement my income. That essentially translates to the part that I will use to repay the bloody tuition fee loan from the blood-sucker bank. So, maybe subconsciously, I don't feel like earning that much so as to pay the bank that much. Hmm? haha.. Doesn't make sense? But it doesn't make much sense that my service is so 'affordable' in the first place.
I actually feel inadequate to charge anything that most other friends are charging. Sure, I believe I am dedicated, dependable, incredibly patient and have the past 6 years of being a part time tutor to my credit. But, I don't see why that gives me any reason to ask for more than what I am already happy with. I recognise that half the time, my presense there isn't really teaching (cos in truth, if you teach, you gotta prepare a lot of teaching resources, and not like go with just a red pen and some answer sheets of assessment books). My presense is more like a disciplinarian, without the cane. So, really, I don't want to get paid for things that I'm not doing enough in.
Admittedly, giving tuition is time-consuming and can be really tiring especially since it's additional work to my full-time job (which is already quite draining as it is). Still, I don't see how that can justify a much higher rate. Cos essentially, no one forced me to go give tuition. If I don't, I would probably be watching more TV or doing more nothing only. Hence, the opportunity cost is like really low, anyway.
And of course, the bottomline is... the reward I get from moonlighting like this doesn't come from the money. Let me illustrate with a short conversation with one of my kids. He's one of my old kids. I've been tutoring him for 3 years. Terrible in Chinese but very conversant and occasionally throws out very creative ideas or questions that I have no answers to. hee
me: Look. You have only 2 more weeks to your PSLE. I'm only asking you to work harder now for these 2 weeks. After your PSLE, you are free to do whatever you want. I don't even want to talk to you after that.
El: Huh? Cannot lah. Tuition teacher, you cannot don't talk to me.
me: After your PSLE, I will concentrate on your brother (who I'm tutoring too).
El: Ya lah, but you must still talk to me. Cannot don't talk to me, ok?
The mum told me that during school holidays when they don't have tuition, both brothers would ask her when does tuition resume cos they miss having tuition.
hmm? sounds funny? But that's the kind of rapport, the kind of reward I get.
So, I'm contented enough to spoil the market. ^^
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:40
All dressed to stay at home
So it was another Friday. So we arranged to meet. So she said she's likely to be able to make it. So I mopped the floor, showered and ate. So I put on some light make up. So I smsed her. So her bosses, who I already know are evil slave-drivers, had them all on standby. So she couldn't meet up after all. So I was all dressed, and made-up, to stay at home. So I picked up my magazines to read, followed by a book on astrology. So I saw stars. So I went to wash away my make up and get ready for bed. So I went to sleep by 12midnight.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:43
December 17, 2004
A 'surprise'
jh said he has a little surprise for me. Sounds scary. And then, the conversation we had after that (beside my state of near euphoria from having watched RoTK earlier on) was largely based on reverse psychology. Hence, this afternoon, as I was writing and thinking of buying something for some of my other friends, a lightbulb shone above my pretty head.
I told him buying gifts for a guy is so hard cos you can't possibly give a guy some stupid doll or stupid accessories. Now, actually... why not? *nods head slowly...
Strawberry shortcake? Gee... I can help you keep it if it looks too out of place in your bedroom. Meanwhile, you still have the time to change your mind. Surprise is ok, but don't you shock me!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:01
The real spirit of giving
Dear valued readers, pls help in fulfilling the wish of people who have limited access to the things we often take for granted.
It's
simpler and in a way,
more fun than you would thought. Basically, go get a wish tag from the wishing tree, shop for the present (tis time of the year, shopping is more of a hassle but also more meaningful ya), buy and then place it in the
Boys' Brigade gifts collection box and there! The rest will be taken care of. ok? The gift is capped at $50 or $300, for families or for individuals. So, get a few friends if you are slightly hard-up and split the cost. It can't be easier than this. Check out
http://www.bbsgb.org.sg
Another one.
http://www.worldvision.org.sg/ This one's an international orgn that reaches out to
children of Asia and Africa. I was surprised how little it cost to order a gift for a child who will definitely need and appreciate it. $4 for medical facilities to protect against deadly diseases for a child, school bags and shoes for $13, stocking a library with 10 books for $26 (cost of ONE book purchased at Borders), etc. Knowing that a child benefitted from your going to one less movie - priceless. (Hmm.. sounds like a particular commercial which aims to propagate senseless spending with a small rectangular plastic.) You can get the
order form at this booth just
outside Borders. So, no excuse to say you don't know how to go about doing it ok!
Give the gift of giving! *beams*
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:31
From the papers...27
ST Dec 16, 2004 -
Dutch doctors support infant euthanasia
THE HAGUE - DOCTORS in the Netherlands are calling for laws allowing them to end the lives of newborns with intolerable and incurable illnesses.
Doctors from the country's eight university hospitals have asked that a committee of experts be set up to consider the issue, a BBC report said yesterday.The Dutch government will give its opinion over the next few months.
The proposed committee of experts would define the criteria that would apply to infant euthanasia in children born with extreme malformations, for instance they may have no brain.
It would relate to only about 600 infants in the world and between 10 and 15 in The Netherlands, the BBC report said.
The move has revived the debate on the controversial issue of euthanasia.Doctors here say paediatricians worldwide are in favour of ending the lives of newborns in certain circumstances.
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
Euthanasia was one of the most debatable topics that we were engaged in as a class during JC's General Paper lessons. There can never be a conclusion to this. This article has unleashed many related thoughts. For instance, if the brain defines an important part of consciousness and a child is born without a brain, then, how would we consider that kind of life? Is that enough reason to advocate euthanasia in this case? I'm still thinking about it.
Next...
Today 17 Dec -
The call of advanced Chinese (extract, summarised)
Chinese Language Elective Programme (Clep) sees a record number of applicants. The Clep is a two-year course that includes the study of classical and modern Chinese literature and Chinese culture.
Students sit for the A-level Higher Chinese paper and can opt for special paper. There are also enrichment activities like creative writing camps, project work and immersion programme in either Taiwan or China.
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
Last Saturday, I had this short chat with Wenn about the classical literature that we used to do for Chinese at A level. It turned out quite hilarious. We were trying significantly hard to recall some of the verses that we used to memorise by heart, the characters of the many plays we had to learn and the even more themes and ideas from each play. We uttered fragments of poems and verses and in between were a lot of 'something, something' and 'dunno what, dunno what'.
It all started with my rhetorical statement 'bu4 neng2 zai4 zhou3 zhe4 tiao2 lu4', which was the title of one of the plays that we had to do.
I have a lot of respect for all languages. And definitely utmost respect and love for Chinese language. For that, I think I have my JC teachers to thank. If anything at all, NYJC has shown me a new track in deciding my learning trajectory. A track that I am only beginning to appreciate and am still very amateur in. So, the learning continues...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:30
December 16, 2004
I am no man.
Again. She's so cool.
Faramir is so so so handsome! I LURVE the added scene of him and Eowyn!
Aragorn. Ever ever good looking, man!!!
Sobsobzzz... so damn shiok!
Ray>> 12 hours at one go! Do it and I fu2 le4 you!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:09
ctrl+c, ctrl+v
From the papers...26
ST Dec 11, 2004 -
Men, get that broom out if you want to stay married
Couples more likely to be happier and stay together if they share chores: StudyBy Vivi ZainolA
LOCAL study has found that more Singapore fathers are pitching in when it comes to looking after the children, even though they believe it is really the mother's job.
Said Associate Professor Paulin Straughan, from the National University of Singapore's sociology department, who began the study in March this year: 'This is perhaps the first empirical evidence we have that Singapore fathers have grown from the traditional breadwinner model to one which sees them as involved fathers.' But because of their mindset about women's role, fathers rarely go beyond disciplining their children.
The study, commissioned by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, also found that couples are more likely to be happier and stay together if they also share household chores besides the children's upbringing. In fact, relationships go from strength to strength with each added task a husband does.
The chances of a marriage continuing increases by 1.8 times for every added chore husbands take on, said Prof Straughan, as women are happier when their husbands do more at home, and the more their husbands do, the happier marriages are.
In the study of 1,026 married people and 827 divorcees in their mid-20s, partners in ongoing unions share about five chores, while those in relationships which have ended did about three.The study also found that though men may help out, they do not want to be responsible for housework.
One example is civil servant Ethan Teo, 35, who admitted that his wife is 'not very happy' with the division of labour in their home.'It's the wife's job to do the more 'feminine' chores like cooking, washing and putting the kids to sleep,' he claimed. 'I'll change the light bulb and do things that are more strenuous, like mopping the floor.'
Because of this sort of thinking, women take the lead in all but three of the 19 tasks involving either home care and supervision, child care or looking after an elderly person. The three are carrying out household repairs, washing the car and paying bills.
Women are also held responsible for an average of 8.8 domestic tasks compared with men's 2.7. Prof Straughan said parents, families, friends, schools, the mass media and forms of popular culture are responsible for the gender-based attitudes to chores. State policies also contribute, she added. For example, until recently, only mothers could take leave to tend to a sick child. Deducting the foreign maid levy only from the wife's income also sends a strong message that the maid is taking over her responsibilities.
'Singapore women are really in a bind,' she said. 'They're expected to embrace multiple roles and responsibilities: to be a good wife, a loving mother who is expected to be on call 24/7, domestic manager, and to top it all... a committed employee. Meanwhile, their husbands continue to hold on to very traditional expectations.'
Many women seem yet to realise this. Said Madam Koh Lay Hong, 39, who has a three-month-old child and helps in her husband's business: 'I do what I can, and when I need help, I ask for it and my husband obliges. That makes me very happy.'
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
Yes, I know... Dept bitch or sthg like that. At least she taught me that stats can lie and is so easy to manipulate. hee...
From long ago time, since I've been put to help in doing household chores, I decided on something rather important for
my happy marriage ==> If and when I do get married, the foremost chore that my husband must take up definitely is vacuuming the floor.
Argh! I HATE vacuuming! It's noisy, it's 'draggy' and it's so damn clumsy. Left with a choice, I would use the broom. But my ma thinks that's super inefficient. So, I usually volunteer to mop the floor after she vacuums.
My fav. chore? Washing the dishes! haha.. So, Mel, see! You're not the only one ok!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 10:59
December 14, 2004
Gingersnap
This season, somehow, I have this helpless tendency to gush whenever I see things to do with Strawberry Shortcake. It's sooooooo cuuute!!! I don't even remember seeing the cartoon before (have never been much of a TV person even when I was young) but I was passing by the toys department of Taka one day and I saw this really really really cute Strawberry Shortcake doll. Since then, I couldn't help this twinkle in my eyes and cheeky smile whenever I see little miss S.S and her friends.
Perhaps it's cos my sister had this Strawberry Shortcake figure birthday cake when she was hmm, 6 year old? It's this really huge cake, like 5 kg, in the form of Strawberry Shortcake and there were many many of these edible silver pearls on her hat and so tasty! We still have lotsa photos from that birthday bash. My sister, Jas, by the way, is a Care Bears person.
So cute. I like the way she's living. Cottage, green fields, lotsa strawberries (even tho I really don't quite like strawberries), lotsa sunshine, lotsa friends. So adorable!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:59
WTF was that?
I told him that I would arrange for us to meet up. 'Us' comprises of him,Caibei and me. He kept saying things like 'see how then lor..' and 'see how lah'. Me being me, I asked him straight if he's not very keen in meeting up. 'Cos if that's the case, just tell me. It's ok, no problem for me.
Like, hello, I am definitely not everyone's idea of good company. That much, I know.
And he said he never expected me to think that way.
I think, 'Why the fuck not?'
I asked, 'Why not?'
That would have been my attitude if I'm not really keen in meeting someone but feels obliged to. However, usually, I'm more forthright than that. Curt replies, maybe. But, when I say I'm going to make it for a meet up, you can truly expect that I will make time to make it. That's me.
I explained. He said, 'Whatever'.
I'm seriously pissed.
xxx
Continuing from that...
I don't know how to be politically correct all the time. I absolutely do not see the need to be. I rather keep quiet than to say something stupidly correct. And if I don't have anything to contribute, I'd much rather just listen.
I think the people who enjoys my company falls under either one or both of the categories - those who enjoy my quiet but supportive and encouraging presense and those who enjoy my bloody-straight-say-what-I-think-even-if-it-sounds-feisty kind of attitude (Ok, sometimes bit sarcastic too).
My colleague has this on her desk: I can only please one person in one day. Today's not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good too.
In fact, this whole lifetime, you can forget about it.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:16
ctrl+c, ctrl+v (thks Bionic)
From the papers...25
Straits Times Dec 14, 2004 -
Parents on strike over naughty kids
MRS Cat Barnard has become America's real-life desperate housewife. She and her husband, Harlan, are on strike.
They are sick of kids who do not do their chores and do not show respect, and have left the house in the hands of their 12-year-old daughter Kit and their 17-year-old son Ben.
The strike took Benjamin and Kit by surprise. They came home from school on Monday to find their mother outside with handwritten signs that read 'Parents on Strike' and 'Seeking Cooperation and Respect!'
Mrs Cat Barnard, a stay-at-home mother, and her 56-year-old husband, a government social services worker, decided their children needed to learn about empathy and responsibility.The Barnards now live in a cramped tent on the front lawn of their Deltona, Florida, home, and they plan to stay there until the kids start behaving.
The paparazzi love the show and are now permanent fixtures on the Barnards' once-sleepy street.The strike seems to have struck a nerve. The phone has been ringing incessantly with requests for media interviews. Passers-by have shouted out words of encouragement.
One woman driving past the Barnards' house rolled down her car window on Wednesday and shouted: 'Good for you! You should put the kids outside!' \-- WASHINGTON POST, ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
The parents are sooo attention seeking!!! hehe... Ok lah. They're right. Like I just told Yong yesternite, I only started making my own bed when I have my own bedroom (i.e. last year). Shall I quite shamelessly start listing the chores I help out with at home? Maybe not, since snow has declared no competition for the award already. Next...
Today December 13, 2004 -
We politely disagree
WHEN pigs fly � or should it be, when Singaporeans fly off their seats to offer them to pregnant women on the MRT � that's when we can say "gracious" and "Singaporean" in the same breath without gagging on the contradiction.
That, at least, seems to be the incredulous reaction of most readers to Swede Camilla Porsman's description of treatment she received from local train commuters ("Friendliness is everywhere in Singapore", Dec 6).As PJ Lee, who is 36 weeks pregnant put it, the details of Ms Porsman's letter "almost made me choke on my breakfast".
Only two days earlier, she said, she had boarded the train with her six-year-old son in tow."I was standing near the corner seats with the sign that reads, 'Please offer this seat to those who need it'.The folks in those seats were doing a great job of ignoring me and my son. Some of the actions of such people are so pretentious, I feel like laughing sometimes."
In her experience, only "four times out of ten do people actually get up to offer me their seats. The people who have (including a group of Indian construction workers, once) are my heroes".
There were two exceptions to the cynical backlash from readers. Terry Yap witnessed several passengers standing up for a pregnant woman on a train.Taiwanese Susan Hsu raved about the "loveliness, warmth and friendliness" of Singaporeans since she arrived a year ago."One day when it was pouring, I was waiting for a traffic light to change so I could cross the road. One woman saw me and offered to share her umbrella with me," she recounted."I have travelled on business to many Asian countries and this has never happened to me before."
In stark contrast, Chilean Patricio Briceno � who gets the cold shoulder when he says "hello" to a neighbour or a fellow lift passenger � said: "I have never seen people as impolite and unfriendly as Singaporeans.""My only guess as to the reason for Ms Porsman's experience is that she is probably a blonde, good-looking Caucasian lady."
Glenn M Jothy concurred. "Her daily experiences will certainly be far more pleasant than those of a Bangladeshi foreign worker or your common Indonesian maid."Or, for that matter, even the ordinary Singaporean living in the HDB heartland."
So let's not fool ourselves into believing for even one moment that we have 'arrived' as a society when it comes to graciousness and kindness."
But if the majority of Singaporeans seem to fail to measure up in terms of small acts of everyday kindness, now and then, an opportunity comes along for those with heart to respond. As seven people did last week after reading about Madam Zarina Harpal Singh's selfless mission for foreign workers in Singapore ("A hand for the helpless", Dec 6).
One woman said her ministry division was interested in the chance to do community work. A man volunteered a temporary shelter. Another woman offered $160 in shopping vouchers.At times like this, one can almost believe Susan Hsu's affirmation of Singaporeans � that "they are born with a genuine heart."
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
Gracious society? What a loud and far cry! Meanwhile, please dial 1900-suckers.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:44
December 11, 2004
F5
Today is our X'mas steamboat/BBQ get-together. 5 lovely females, 1 little one, 4 not so little.
Can't see this chance go by.
Presenting my
Guest Blogger... Melissa (OKA Mel in this blog)!
Hi hi, pardon me.. this is my 1st time doing this.. haha. Anyway, i had the honour to do what i'm really good at, i.e washing the dishes cos i was late!! Actually, not very late lar.. it's only a mere 3 hrs. Hey gals, i really LOVE doing the dishes alot!!
Gift exchange was followed after our sumptuous lunch cum dinner. And i got jancy's, was a keychain which definitely came at the right time to replace my 5 yrs old one. Hey kid, i think we r really meant for each other cos you seem to know what i need. I knew from the start that you and i were destined to exchange prezzies wif each other. Hehe...
While typing this, just got word from the gals that we'll be going clubbing at the Carnegies on Wednesday nite. Gals, it's my 1st time again.. do take care of me ya.. make sure my drinks dun get spiked ya.. hehe.. I'll better exit now to prepare myself mentally for wednesday nite.. i'm already thinking wat i shd wear, how i shd look and blah blah.. Tips anyone?
Anyway, it was a great gathering we had today, it has been a long while. Many thanks to Jancy for being such a fabulous host and many thanks to Joyce, Joycelyn and Jerelyn, Shirley for turning up and last but not least, many many many thanks to Melissa for eventually turning up and doing the dishes!!! haha!!
Cheers!
xxx
Now, over to my other
Guest Blogger... Joyce (OKA Joycey in this blog)!
Hey Mel, it was more like 3.5Hrs late!! And it was because of watching The terminal!! Where's e sincerity?? Nevertheless, everything turned out perfect caused I hate doing dishes.. Haha
It has been a wonderful day. The meal that we prepared together was really fresh, delicious and mostly importantly, felt truly heartwarming. It felt just great chatting, updating each other on our life stories and e salacious gossips from the ever entertaining See Hup Seng. =)
Well, for the gift exchange, I received an interesting assortment of items. 2 bottles of Honey milk Follow me shower foam, a Canon calculator and 2 Brother Bear Note pads. Haha, from the ever quirky Shirley.. =)
Thanks Jancy for hosting us and allowing us to hold a pseudo Seoul Garden bbq cum steamboat at yr place. Really lovely just spending the day together and being a guest blogger! My honour..
Shall take e opportunity to share some Christmas thoughts with you. =)
I love Christmas. I have been looking forward to it ever since Christmas ended last year. I love the festive feeling you get from walking e lighted streets on Orchard, the beautiful Christmas trees, the ornaments and decorations of the shopping centers. I love the roasted turkey, honey baked ham and chocolate log cakes too!
Most importantly, it's really the season to catch up with friends and just bond w one other again.. =) And hee, from my fav movie Love Actually, you can really feel that love is everywhere if ya just look hard enough..
Okies, enough of sentimental crap. Shall sign off here... Till then..
Lurve,
Joycey
xxx
>> Mel, Snow and myself are vying for the 'Most Shameless Person 2004' award.
>> Joyce - ever so kind in deeds and sweet in thoughts. Now, if you would just kick Mel in the arse for us for her misconcept of time.
OK. 'tis is, folks!
Merriest of Christmas. Love your friends.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:07
A long, fine pin
Balloons go 'pop'. Like images. Images go 'pop'. Like dreams. Dreams go 'pop'. Like, what the hell, life.
2 deaths in a week. 2 cremations in a day. A night of sleep to quiet down. Who said life is a struggle? Who needs prayers? Just fuck it.
xxx
Cover me up to my chin
I have this unknown feeling of insecurity now. That I have too good an imagemaker up in my mind. Professional Version 11.9. That I see a lot of images through a stark clean glass, so clean, so transparent that it doesn't seem to be there.
I thought these images are who they really are. I walked towards them and bumped my nose onto the glass. I stop in my track, feel the glass. Meanwhile, that image I was trying to reach fades into the air. Then, there was nothing. Maybe there was nothing in the first place.
Too many bumps on the bloody glass and now, I'm afraid. Who are those images on the other side?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:26
December 09, 2004
Every ape has her day
If you are reading this, Annie, pls do not nick me 'spidy'. I think it sounds awful.
Went rock-climbing with Annie (OKA bionic) and friends on Tuesday. The first and last time I scaled boulders was 9 years ago, at an OBS camp. Had fun then, and Tuesday too. Sure can do it again man! Something to put my unproportional body-limbs ratio and pegged body mass to advantage (I still think sit-and-reach is a bad excuse to demoralise people like me).
xxx
Can't you see it's just not possible?
I don't know what's the obsession about resurrection. My spiritual orientation is that the dead should remain dead and should only return as nutrients for earthworms or other whatever in the food chain that feed on dead bodies. End of story.
If each and every dead who believes in you will be resurrected, I can't imagine where we would put all of you. Besides, why would you want to resurrect or be resurrected? Why choose earth when you are already in heaven, by default? Unless you're saying we have more fun down here than up there? Tsk, whose side are you on, really?
xxx
Fibre, fart and a looser waist band
Among the top reasons why I dislike long holidays. Ya, I know I seem to be contradicting myself now, with reference to what I said a couple of days ago. Well, I said I 'deserve' my school holidays but I didn't exactly say I like it.
I eat more fruits when I work than during holidays. That's fibre, and some connection to fart too (and poo), I guess. I drink more water when I work than during holidays. I walk more when I work than during holidays. I eat more and more regularly when I work than during holidays. I don't snack (I dislike chips and have rare craving for chocolate and other titibits) and don't rot away (eat, sleep, eat, tv, nap, eat, tv, sleep, etc etc) during holidays. I spend more during holidays, just trying to catch up with friends. Fortunately, I still sleep the same (not more) during holidays as when I work.
Is it strange that my tummy and gastric seems to be revolting these few days? With such a delicate and spoilt digestive factory, is it strange that I'm as slim as I am? Is it strange that I actually sound like I'm complaining about my weight?
xxx
Baa, baa black sheep
BBQ/steamboat on Sat. Tick 'Meat'. Chicken, pork, mutton, fish, sotong. Tick 'Karaoke'. Tested by yours truly, working good. Orientated the rabbit and the tortoise. Expect a clean bedroom but rather messy desk. We'll get the soup items and vege on sat, ok, pretties? So excited! Meanwhile, I'm nursing my tummy for Sat.
xxx
An arm's length
Burn but don't burn out. Walk slower and we will walk longer.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:59
When you do what you do
I met up with Eugene yesterday. After a good dip in the pool with Anna in the morning. Now, people, it's really, really one of life's simplest and biggest joy to go for a swim (non-swimmers like me, a dip) in the pool in the morning. Especially when the sun is gloriously shining on your back. The only damaging thing was really only the combination of chlorine and sun rays on the hair. Still, it's a good trade-off.
Then, I met up with Eugene. Slightly sick, but still as great company as he always has been. We chatted a lot. From some of our own reflections in life, to work, to others' work, to relationships of our time, to the common traits of men and women of our time, to a surface comparison between our people and our neighbour's people, to certain persons in our local government and their ostensible level of intelligence, and finally to blogs.
A friend once commented that a blog is the celebration of the person who keeps it. Ditto. Eugene mentioned that a blogger knows very well his/her viewership group and target readers group. He asked how many personalities are actually behind the writing of one blog. And whether any one, if not all, is a truthful personality of the person who writes the blog.
Perhaps, there are many different truths to one story. That gives us all something to think about and write about. That gives us the allowance to be different from the next person. That also gives us the allowance to be different from who we think we are and not shock ourselves too much.
At the end of it, I accept that my blog is a place where people may know what they can (that I've allowed) about me. A place for some to realise that they do not know me. A place I occasionally drift into without really knowing what I'm capable of. A piece of story that I re-read sometimes and feel intoxicated with how much I love myself. A place where I celebrate myself tirelessly.
A place where I'm inviting you to come in but know that I don't have any right to make you stay. (damn! pretty much sounds like falling in love eh?)
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:27
December 06, 2004
Woke up at 730am today. Ya, I've been telling everyone I talked to this morning about this, like I just broke some guinness world record. When actually, I wake up at 6.15am when I have to work.
Anyway, since I'm up and Wenn is on a half day leave at home, we chatted on MSN and came up with the following discussion.
Love & dating...26
Finding a partner is not quite the same as going to a buffet, or is it?
Walk through the many linen-lined tables with fine crockery, take in all that food (choices), and only eat those you like (select those qualities you like in a partner) and leave those you don't like (filter away those qualities you don't like in a partner). Someone will even clear up the mess and leftovers (the break up) for you.
But, maybe it is quite the same too. Because we usually check out the kinda cuisine and the quality of the food (in general) before deciding on which buffet spread to feast at. Akin to choosing a partner, there has to be some proactivity before you expect to have choices. At the minimal, you got to know how much you are willing to pay for the buffet (how ready are you for a relationship) and you got to decide that you are indeed going for a buffet lunch/dinner.
Reach the place. Usually, we would go for an orientation round to see what kinda spread it is and if it whets our appetite. Then, we would dig in. We choose the ones that either sound good or look good first (tis round, we're looking for some extrinsic qualities). Bring it back to the table. Some may indeed taste as good as it look (so we realise some intrinsic qualities here). Some are just good on the outside (so we reject and make a mental note not to take anymore of that dish).
Then, we go for 2nd round. We would probably end up with things that are more common place and looks more 'down-to-earth'. At the same time, maybe just a piece more of those that we liked the first time round (retaining expectations). Then, sometimes, we find that hey! The more common things and less fanciful looking or sounding things are actually much nicer (so, looks do deceive).
By this time, we usually have a rough idea of what are the dishes that are nice and what are not (meaning the taste, not looks anymore, therefore the intrinsic qualities). We may go back for more or we may not. But there will come a point when we find ourselves full and contented. There might be some leftovers, which the waitress will clear away promptly (too much of anything is always not a good idea). The best part of a buffet is when your tummy is feeling quite contented and you can just sip on the iced water while chatting with whoever is your company.
There are also some people who will make it a point not to eat things like bread or plain common place stuff at buffet, cos it simply doesn't make the money's worth. But, the good thing about buffet is when you go in a group, everyone can share. So, you may take something from your friend's plate that you won't take for yourself, just to try. Then, you find that hey! this is good stuff. It's important to be open minded about trying new means of meeting new people, like being match-made or going on blind dates. Of cos, sometimes you end up confirming that your friend has strange taste in food. But, the point is... at long as you don't get tummy upsets after all these eating, it's still the process that matters.
So... bon appetit!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:00
Bask in Envy
People, if you guys are trying to make me feel bad about having school holidays now even though I'm not a student... I can tell you. It's not working.
It's great being a teacher, having holidays and all. But, hey, not everyone has got what it takes to be a teacher. And I know I deserve my long holidays.
xxx
Reeks of sarcasm
We were at Coffee Club, Holland V. Loved the mushroom vol-au-vent. And of course, my Iced Passion. Actually, we talked a fair bit on friendship.
Funny how he doesn't seem to believe me whenever I say something really sweet and nice. It's just so me to be sweet and nice, isn't it? Just look at the list that i posted on 2 dec.
Snow> I'm really happy for you *flutters eyelashes*. Try to believe it. I really don't think it is out of her un-nameable compassion that you have a girlfriend. Try to believe it. And it was not me who called you a 'sad bastard'. It's my twin sister.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 10:25
December 05, 2004
30+1 and some very nice cocktail
The prettiest and tallest jenga tower I've seen, and ahem, built. heh.. The joint effort of someone who enjoys cracking tough nuts and someone who grabs an opportunity when he sees one. Great job!
xxx
Keep your rebonded hair outta my face
It's official. I'm going to stay OUT of Orchard Road for the coming Saturday evenings till school reopens. It's crazy! There is no place for people who are just trying to get to a particular destination without having to deal with abrupt stops from groups of teenagers and lost kids. In other words, there is no space for people like me. And trying to have dinner in Orch Road is a real feat. Money doesn't get you dinner. Even the very expensive restaurants have long queues!
xxx
Annie does it again!
Since Snow has slowed down his speed of updating his blog, I have been popping by Annie's blog often enough to be really hooked on it. You go, bionic! I lurve your articles. And I think Daniel Ong probably doesn't have enough guts to take your email seriously, nor enough English vocab to reply your email properly.
See you tomorrow! Let the intellect open.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:38
Take us back a year
We miss Fat Frog. For Wenn, the 'ai ko ai ko' song will always bring her back to Ff. For me, it's actually a whole list.
1. 'Out of reach', because it was the theme of my non-existent love life for awhile.
2. 'Angel', because Joe wrote me the lyrics for that song the first time I was there.
3. 'My immortal', because it was Kyn's theme song for awhile.
4. 'Beautiful', because we had fun singing along the chorus part.
5. 'Waterfall', 'buses and trains', 'you learn', 'hand in my pocket', because they were some of their faster signature songs.
Voice so powerful you can drown your unhappiness, grievances and ridiculous thoughts in. That's probably one of the things I miss most.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:19
December 02, 2004
We did a small list of things that we appreciate or like about each individual team member. Mine reads:
- Reserved and sweet
- Good facial cream, edible too! (that's referring to the sweetcorn and water chestnut dessert that I made for my colleagues)
- Helpful in her quiet way
- Humble and very insightful
- Willingness to work hard and try new challenges
- Very willing to try even with challenges
- Always willing to bother to give good ideas
- Hardworking and professional
- A gentle, soft-spoken lady
- Hardworking, self-initiative, patient and helpful
- Soft-spoken, helpful
- A sharing girl, I like her jelly
- Responsible, hardworking, friendly
- Thank you for my email notifications (cos I'm one of the rare few that practise replying 'noted' for every email info I've recv from the mgt)
- Approachable to share information, helpful
- A great friend and colleague
- Has a great personality though soft-spoken
- Helpful and cheerful
- Your inputs to computer CCA
- Your inputs to opening (day) slides
Talk about shameless! A new high!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:29
One of the top 10% at 11.30pm
White lies are better kept white.
xxx
Singapore Idol?
Taufiq won the Singapore Idol. He was good, gotta give him that. Sylvester was crap. I couldn't really appreciate Jay Chou's muttered singing until I heard Sylvester.
Don't get me wrong. I don't really watch Sgp Idol. In fact, I only watched it twice. Both times cos I was in that kinda situation when other people with me were watching and I had nothing better to do anyway.
So, tis it lah. Meanwhile, American Idol resumes in Jan.
xxx
Come clean with it
School holiday is here!!! The real one, the one for the teachers as well. *beams*
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:14
I copied this from Annie's blog. She is reading a lot of papers now cos of her research (aka job) needs. It's great! cos I can free-ride on the effort she made to read papers just by clicking the link to
bionicgirl.
From the papers...24
Today Nov 30 2004 -
End to abuse within reach
It is not up to men to stop violence against women; education is key.
I refer to Constance Singam's News Comment, "Let us speak of the unspeakable" (Nov 25).Truly, only women can change and stop violence against women. We cannot depend on men to help us if we don't first help ourselves. So what can be done?
Teach wives to love their husbands.To take care of them with love and kindness.Do not punish them by making them abstain from meeting their sexual needs because we feel we are not getting what we want.
Take care of their daily needs like we would our own children, make sure they are fed, clothed, warm and happy sexually.If one gives love, one can only receive love.
Teach them to be mothers again. Tell them the importance of breastfeeding a child.Take the time to nurture children. Do not abandon them to caregivers and expect them to turn out right.
Teach mothers to feed their families well.It has long been said that heavy consumption of red meat promotes violent behaviour. Eating lots of fruits and vegetables helps digestion, reduces constipation and promotes good health in mind and body. Teach women to change the family's diet and change the future.
Rose Mary Tan
The Atomic Princess thinks out loud...
This woman is stupid and then, insane. A male chauvinist at heart. She should stay in the stone age where she belongs, grinning from ear to ear when a man with a club drags her by her hair. I fear for her children.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:03